lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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