You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
