well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
