if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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