i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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