i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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