i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we're making bets on your personal life
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
