with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
