Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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