HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
