when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
