It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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