porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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