You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
