Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
