I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
