Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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