are you still at the devil's house?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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