i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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