you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
