i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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