Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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