I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
