They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
