As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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