Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize