12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
