when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
