They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
