Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
