I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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