it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
