Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
