I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
