one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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