You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
