I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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