No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
