I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
