Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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