she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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