The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
