im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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