The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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