What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
