About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
