Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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