The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize