What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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