Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
