i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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