"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
