You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
