Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
