Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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