mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize