That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I DEMAND FORESKIN
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
