butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
