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• (954): View more from Florida

  i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi

  (425): View more from Washington

  hahaha how?

  (954): View more from Florida

  its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Was it cool?

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him

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• (716): View more from New York

  i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I think they're German

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just say lederhosen and see what happens

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.

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