oh god the rape fog is back!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
