bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
