I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I faked an abortion last night.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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