508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
