ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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